What Should I Do if a Parent is Unresponsive?

"Hello, and welcome back to Teaching with Valor, where we tackle the real questions that teachers face in their classrooms every day. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and today we’re diving into a challenging topic: What should I do if a parent is unresponsive?

In education, we talk a lot about the importance of communication between teachers and parents. We know that when parents are actively involved in their child’s education, it can make a significant difference in that child’s academic performance and well-being. But what happens when you’re trying your best to reach out, and you’re met with silence? Whether it’s unreturned emails, ignored calls, or no-shows at conferences, an unresponsive parent can be frustrating and, at times, discouraging.

Today, we’ll explore strategies to reach those parents who seem out of reach. We’ll discuss ways to ensure your efforts are consistent and proactive, and we’ll cover how to maintain your focus on the student, even when parental involvement is lacking. We’ll talk about strategies specific to elementary, middle, and high school levels and share ideas on how to document your efforts to engage parents. And for our parent listeners, we have a bonus segment at the end on what teachers can do to support students when parental involvement is limited.


Show Notes

Resources and References:
•Edutopia – Engaging Hard-to-Reach Parents: www.edutopia.org - Strategies for involving parents who are less likely to engage.
•Understood – Tips for Communicating with Parents: Effective methods for reaching out to parents in different situations.
•National PTA – Tools for Building Parent-Teacher Partnerships: Tools and strategies for fostering strong parent-teacher connections.
•Scholastic – Overcoming Parent Communication Challenges: Advice for teachers facing barriers in parent communication.
•Remind – A Communication Tool for Schools: A digital tool for easy and consistent messaging with parents.


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Stay tuned for more episodes, and remember, every student is unique, and every classroom can be a place where all students succeed. Keep teaching with valor!

Transcript

Don: 0:09

"Welcome to Teaching with Valor, the podcast where we dive into the heart of education, helping teachers, parents, and students thrive. I’m your host, Don Fessenden, and if you’re passionate about making a difference in education, you’ve come to the right place. Before we jump into today’s deep dive episode, I’d like to ask for your support. If you find value in these conversations, please take a moment to like, subscribe, and share this podcast with your fellow educators and parents. Your support helps us reach a larger audience, empowering more teachers and families to navigate the challenges of education with confidence and courage. So hit that subscribe button, share this episode, and let’s continue to grow this community together. Today we’re diving into a challenging topic: What should I do if a parent is unresponsive? In education, we talk a lot about the importance of communication between teachers and parents. We know that when parents are actively involved in their child’s education, it can make a significant difference in that child’s academic performance and well-being. But what happens when you’re trying your best to reach out, and you’re met with silence? Whether it’s unreturned emails, ignored calls, or no-shows at conferences, an unresponsive parent can be frustrating and, at times, discouraging. Today, we’ll explore strategies to reach those parents who seem out of reach. We’ll discuss ways to ensure your efforts are consistent and proactive, and we’ll cover how to maintain your focus on the student, even when parental involvement is lacking. We’ll talk about strategies specific to elementary, middle, and high school levels and share ideas on how to document your efforts to engage parents. And for our parent listeners, we have a bonus segment at the end on what teachers can do to support students when parental involvement is limited. So, let’s jump in and look at how teachers can make the best of this challenging situation." In our first segment we look at Understanding the Root of Unresponsiveness."Before we discuss strategies, it’s important to take a moment to understand why a parent might be unresponsive. Often, when we reach out to parents and don’t get a reply, it can feel personal—like they’re dismissing our efforts or don’t value the work we do. But the reality is usually much more complex. There are many reasons a parent might not respond to communication from a teacher, and understanding these reasons can help us approach the situation with empathy rather than frustration. In some cases, a parent’s lack of response might stem from logistical issues. They may be working long hours, have limited access to technology, or face language barriers that make it challenging to engage with school communication. Imagine being a single parent with two jobs—answering an email from a teacher might not be at the top of their to-do list. Or perhaps the parent speaks a different language and struggles with written English, making emails and messages difficult to interpret and respond to. In other cases, a parent might be unresponsive because of a history of negative school experiences. For example, parents who struggled in school themselves may feel intimidated by teachers or uncomfortable participating in school matters. They might assume that reaching out means there’s something negative happening with their child, and they could be avoiding what they expect to be a difficult conversation. It’s also possible that a parent doesn’t understand the importance of school communication. Some parents, especially at the secondary level, may believe that if their child isn’t in trouble, there’s no need to respond to teacher messages. This can be particularly common in high school, where parents often assume their teenager will handle school matters independently. Knowing these potential reasons can remind us to approach unresponsive parents with patience and open-mindedness. It also helps us to try different methods of communication, which brings us to our next step: finding the most effective ways to reach out.""Now that we’ve considered the‘why’ behind unresponsiveness, let’s move on to some practical strategies for reaching out to parents who may be difficult to connect with.""When a parent doesn’t respond to our usual methods of communication, it’s time to get creative. Different families respond to different types of outreach, so trying a variety of methods can increase your chances of getting a response. Let’s start with digital communication, which is often our first line of contact. If emails go unanswered, consider switching to text messages or apps like Remind or ClassDojo, which make it easy for parents to receive quick updates without having to log in to their email. Many parents prefer text-based apps over email because they’re used to texting and find it more convenient to check on the go. For example, sending a simple message like,‘Hi Mr. Doe, this is Ms. Jones. I just wanted to touch base about James and see if we can connect for a few minutes this week’ can feel less formal and more approachable than an email. Another effective option, especially for elementary and middle school teachers, is to send home a note or letter with the student. Make sure the message is brief, clear, and inviting. Encourage the student to give the note to their parent directly. This approach can be especially useful for parents who may not check digital communication often. If you have phone numbers for parents, try calling. Sometimes a short phone conversation is all it takes to establish contact. When leaving a voicemail, keep it friendly and state clearly why you’re reaching out. For instance, you could say,‘Hi, this is Ms. Jones, James' teacher. I’d love to connect with you to share some updates on James' progress. Please feel free to call me back, or if it’s easier, let me know a convenient time to reach out again.’ Don’t forget about in-person opportunities either. Back-to-school nights, parent-teacher conferences, or school events provide a valuable chance to meet parents face-to-face. Even if a parent hasn’t been responsive through digital channels, they may feel more comfortable approaching you in person at these events. Make yourself approachable by greeting parents with a warm smile and introducing yourself—sometimes these simple interactions open the door for more communication down the road. The key here is persistence and flexibility. When we’re willing to try different methods, it increases the likelihood that one of those methods will work. And when parents do respond, even if it’s brief, acknowledge it positively. Let them know you appreciate their time and are grateful for the connection.""Once you’ve established contact, it’s essential to set up a system for ongoing communication that works for both you and the parent. Let’s explore ways to create sustainable communication.""Once you’ve managed to make contact with an unresponsive parent, it’s essential to work together to establish a sustainable method of communication. If the parent does respond, ask them directly about the best way to stay in touch. Something as simple as,‘Is there a communication method that works best for you?’ can make them feel respected and give you insight into what will be effective moving forward. For elementary parents, a weekly or bi-weekly update on their child’s progress can be valuable. You could suggest sending a brief message at the end of each week or a monthly summary. Let them know it doesn’t need to be a lengthy response—even a quick‘got it’ from the parent can be enough to know they’re engaged. Middle school parents often benefit from fewer, more targeted updates. Many middle school students are developing independence, and parents may feel it’s appropriate to step back. In this case, you could suggest checking in at the end of each grading period or after specific milestones, like major projects or tests. For high school, encourage parents to check online grade portals if available, and focus on major updates, like overall grades or critical behavioral feedback. High school students are taking on more responsibility, and parents sometimes prefer a hands-off approach. Be transparent with them—let them know you’ll reach out if there’s a significant issue but also encourage them to reach out whenever they have questions or concerns. Consistency is the key here. Setting a regular schedule for updates, even if brief, lets parents know they’re part of their child’s educational experience without overwhelming them. And if you’re using a communication app, remind parents how easy it is to check in by replying to a message—sometimes a gentle reminder makes all the difference.""While consistent communication is the goal, there are times when, despite our best efforts, a parent remains unresponsive. Let’s discuss what to do in those cases.""Unfortunately, there are times when, despite every effort, a parent remains unresponsive. This can be challenging, especially when you know a student would benefit from more parental involvement. In these cases, it’s essential to focus on what you can control and continue to advocate for the student in other ways. One way to maintain accountability is by documenting your communication efforts. Keep a record of every attempt to contact the parent, whether it’s emails, phone calls, or notes sent home. Documenting each outreach effort is not only a good practice for you but also helpful if you ever need to involve a counselor, administrator, or social worker. In some situations, schools may even have family liaisons or community outreach staff who can help bridge the gap. Shift your focus toward resources and strategies within the school that can support the student. Connect with school counselors, advisors, or after-school programs that offer academic or social support. When we can’t engage a parent, involving other professionals can help address the student’s needs. Finally, focus on fostering a supportive and understanding environment within the classroom. Often, students with low parental engagement can feel isolated or disconnected. By building a strong relationship with the student and providing the structure, support, and encouragement they need, you can make a significant difference. Let the student know you’re there to help them succeed, regardless of outside circumstances.""We’ve covered strategies for reaching unresponsive parents. Now let’s turn to our bonus segment, where we’ll answer a question that comes up frequently from parents: What can I do if I feel disconnected from my child’s teacher?""Parents sometimes ask, What should I do if I feel disconnected from my child’s teacher? This is a common concern, especially if there’s been a long break in communication or if you’re unsure how to approach the teacher about certain issues. My first suggestion is to start with a simple email or message expressing your desire to stay informed. Something as straightforward as,‘Hi, I’d love to be more connected to what’s happening in James' classroom. Is there a way I can stay updated or check in regularly?’ This shows the teacher you’re interested in being involved and opens the door for consistent communication. If the teacher doesn’t use regular updates, consider asking if there’s a classroom newsletter or parent group where you can get information. Many teachers rely on these tools to communicate about classroom activities and upcoming events. And don’t hesitate to reach out for a quick chat if there’s something specific on your mind: teachers appreciate when parents take the initiative to stay engaged. Remember, teachers want to build relationships with parents, so don’t feel like you’re bothering them. Taking that first step is often the best way to bridge the gap and build a stronger connection." Now, lets look at your takeaways from todays episode."Reaching an unresponsive parent can be a real challenge, but it’s one worth facing. When we try different approaches, remain flexible, and keep the student at the center of our efforts, we can still provide them with the support they need, even if direct parental involvement is limited. Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Teaching with Valor. For more resources on engaging parents and navigating communication challenges, check out the links in our episode description. Remember, every effort to connect: even if it doesn’t yield a response: is a step toward supporting your students. Keep reaching out, keep growing, and as always, keep teaching with valor."